Stop it! You idiot.

Step back.

Om Gupta
May 29, 2024

Take a deep breath…

You know that I don't talk BS, right?

So,

Do it.

Now.

Inhale

5…

4…

3…

2…

Stop for 2 seconds.

Exhale, or you'll die, mf.

4…

3…

2…

Now, think about it for a minute.

Think about all the problems in your life.

Play it in your mind.

From the smallest to the biggest.

Think about everything that has occupied your brain right now; it might sound dumb, but trust me, dost.

From sorting out your basic documents to wanting to buy new clothes to getting a job,

From deciding what to eat for lunch to talking to your parents about your dream,

From creating a CV to fear of getting rejected by the company.

Your relationships with your friends, partner, colleagues

Everything.

It’s so complex, right? A lot of things are going through your mind right now.

Feeling confused, upset, and stuck.

Now,

Do you really think you can’t do something about it?

Whatever you are going through right now,

It’s hard.

I know.

But,

Can you do something about it?

Even if you believe 0.1% that you can, then you can, and I am here to help you.

This is me in the new year.

I was stuck in the same loop for 4 years, had no work (even after having skills), cried daily, broke up, and had the worst—suicidal thoughts.

I was in extreme pain and felt everything was extreme—one day I wanted to achieve everything, and one day I just wanted to die.

I was emotionally fucked up.

I didn’t know what to do.

My best friend left me. I was standing in front of his door, and he didn’t talk to me.

Then one day, on a call with a friend, she said...

Om, what is common between:

Naina from Kal ho na ho

Alia Bhatt, from Dear Zindagi

And Shahid from Jab we met?

No, not they are chasmish🤓

They were filled with dense emotions.

They were upset, depressed, and angry.

Then they got a perspective.

One person came into their life and made them smile, question themselves, and give them the perspective to see the same situation from a different angle.

The situations were the same; only their perspective changed.

(Thanks to Deepika for this one.)

I did not accept it 100%, but I knew it was the answer.

I almost gave up.

I was blaming and complaining.

Then my other friend Manisha tried to help me with the job, money, and shifting, but I refused.

I guess I wanted to feel everything and then leave it once and for all.

(So, I wouldn't ignore my emotions. but this is not 100% correct and can keep you stuck forever. We will talk about this in the upcoming newsletters).

I was playing a victim role.

But it didn’t suit me, and I changed the role because I was not that person; I never was, so the role was not for me.

I was always a joyful person (you all know this).

So again, I became one. I made mistakes that led to this situation, but now I am aware and healthy.

Yesterday I was talking to a few of my ‘long time no see’ friends.

And I noticed that they are stuck in a maze where they say they don't have time to pursue what they want.

They want to be financially independent, study, and do their thing.

But they are just crying and blaming the circumstances for not having enough time to get a job.

How do you think they are going to make money if they are not even looking for a job?

What they are supposed to do is work somewhere for a month or three for free or on a stipend, develop a skill, and get a job.

It's that simple, not easy, of course.

And I am realizing for myself that if I want to get something. Truly. I will get it anyhow.

No one is stopping you.

Let me tell you a harsh truth. You are going to hate me for this.

This is all in your mind. It’s made up of you.

Maybe not 100%, but most of it. Believe me.

Sometimes, it is hard to get a perspective I totally understand.

And we live in denial sometimes.

All we need is someone to say:

“Yes, it’s hard.”

“It’s going to be okay.”

“You are strong; you can do it.”

“I am here.”

Maybe you just need someone to show love.

What if no one says this to you?

What if Aman Mathur or Geet don’t show up?

Are you going to be like this forever?

NO, right?

You don’t have to wait for someone to fix you.

You have to take it into your hands.

Zoom out.

You are in your early 20s, and you have decades ahead of you.

You can’t be 40 and feel like life sucks and is meaningless.

You can’t live like this.

You should be getting better each day.

Become the best possible version of yourself.

Actionable step:

Simplify your complex life.

Write it out. Gather data.

Write down your problems (ALL OF THEM).

Go through them one by one.

You’ll notice:

Some points you are just assuming,

Some points you know are wrong,

Some points you don't know about how that occurred. (It was just a story or overthinking.)

You will get clarity about your life.

It’s important to notice

What do you feel at the end of the day? Guilt, anger, sadness, negative self-talk, or what? These leads to low self-esteem and eventually kills it.

If something “wrong” happens, even if it is minor, turn on your self-preservation mode.

Meaning? ME first.

I don’t want any wounds.

When you get 2% shock, get out of it and stay away from that person.

Or you will take it lightly and wait for 50% or 60%, but

It will be late.

You will get used to that shock, that hurt, and those lies.

You will start tolerating it, and it will be normal for you (even if it is not normal).

Don’t ignore that 2% or 5% shock, believing it will be okay in the future.

Know when to use optimism.

Me first means protecting yourself first.

Prevention:

Make this your rule of life.

Just get out. First hurt is the indication.

Last thoughts: The battle is not with the world; it’s with yourself.

You have to win your self-doubts, confusions, anger, blame game, self-pity, and victim mentality; these are the battles to fight.

Manisha said one more thing: “If you want to do it, you will do it.”